Blackmail

I may have to use these someday, so I need to write these down.

Maleia: "Boys can't have babies because a baby can't fit through a penis."

Maleia: "But I will be a mommy someday...."
Haley: "You can't be a mommy on Sunday!!"
Maleia: "No, I said someday."

Haley: "When will I get boobs?"
Me: "When you are older."
Haley: "After I have babies?"
Me: "um, probably in high school."
Haley: "So I will have a baby in High School?"
Me: "Nooooooo!"

Dylan: "I go pee pee."
Me: "Good boy! Thanks for telling me."
Dylan: "I handsome cuz I go pee pee."

(After his sister accidently hit him on his private.)
Dylan: "I owie!"
Me: "Where sweetie?"
Dylan: "On that thing."
Me: "Oh. On your penis?"
Dylan: "Yup. Kiss it betto mommy."
Me: "Sorry buddy. I can give you a hug and a kiss on the cheek, though."